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Brown University Admission Essay Sample: The Computer Doctor

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❶Although rigorous academics are important to me, balance is also important, and basketball is a stress-relieving activity for me.

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Additionally, each time it starts could be damaging, so I have to make this count. When the sound of electricity surging through the computer begins, I immediately notice a vital fan failing to twirl: With a quick pull of the power I anesthetize the computer and operate. Using a replacement and screwdriver from my bag, I give the computer a new fan. Then, I start the computer nervously, but it starts perfectly. My confdence and determination sweat off as accomplishment.

I quickly look for the woman. She can tell I solved her problem as I walk towards her with a grin, and she smiles too. This case is one of the hundreds I've solved over the past few years, all without a single failure to fnd a practical solution. I started my business because after seeing how grossly overcharged the community was by corporate technicians, I believed it would be a practical and great way for me to help the community and have a job.

After fxing computers for my school for a year, school offcials quickly noticed and spread word of my work, allowing my business to spread like wildfre throughout the local communities. With determination and some creativity I've solved some very unordinary and strange problems. I'd like to use this same willpower to help people in even better ways.

Mathew's essay is powerful because he doesn't just tell us about his entrepreneurship venture but actually gives us a sense that he's taking us to his work by narrating the process. This essay is also strong because Mathew demonstrates attributes that are desirable for an aspiring doctor—determination, problem-solving skills, and an eagerness to help others—using an example unrelated to the sciences and medicine.

Since Mathew also wrote about science and medicine in "Exploring Life's Intricacies" Chapter 19 and "Addressing Injustices" Chapter 5 , this essay diversifes his portfolio of essays while still connecting well with the overall theme of applying specifcally to a premedical program.

Mathew's narrative grips us from the very beginning. He begins with a suspenseful sentence: Essays that challenge our expectations are often the most memorable: The essay underscores the importance of Mathew's business. We can see this as he explains, ". The use of "doctor" terminology helps connect this essay to Mathew's career goal and provides a coherent metaphor for the paper.

Are you going to talk about the last two Brown prompts as well? Would love to hear more! Eva Glasrud completed her B. She is now a college counselor and life coach for gifted youth.

They all went to Brown -- and, with the right application essays, you might, too! With record-low acceptance rates the admit rate for Brown in was 9. The question is, how? Let me walk you through it. If you need additional help, check out my Rates and Services page or Contact Me! Upload a resume optional If you're wondering, "Should I upload a resume for my Brown application?

Of course, you may be an exception. In a resume, you could provide information about each internship, like whose lab you were in, what your responsibilities were, and any courses you took to prepare for the role. Most young people don't have a "resume. Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. I have been passionate about [Activity] for [X] years, and plan to continue it in college. Fill in the blank with anything.

Think about your proudest moments in this activity. Why did you start? What did you like and dislike? THAT is what the admissions committee wants to read in your essay.

So, for example, say I love basketball. It was the first competitive sport I ever played, and I love to be physically and mentally aggressive, since I'm a very compassionate and kind person off the court.

Although rigorous academics are important to me, balance is also important, and basketball is a stress-relieving activity for me. No matter how much calculus I have to study, after a game of basketball, I can go back to it feeling refreshed and ready to learn.

This year, I am the captain of the team, meaning that I have responsibilities as a leader, and also as a fundraiser. I relish the opportunity to develop both my leadership and athletic skills in this position. I won't be playing on the University of Michigan Women's team, but I plan to play on the club team, as well as start co-ed and women's IM teams for my dorm, classes and other groups.

Here's a much better version of the sports essay: I learned that the most important thing is to get in the game. The best way to improve is through experience.

So master the skill that will get you on the court -- even if you never do it during the game. Because without it, nothing else matters. The second most important thing: Off the court, I build a fun and inclusive community as a dorm proctor.

I tutor, trying to make the aorist tense exciting to fellow Greek students. But the first thing I do on the court The first five seconds can set the power dynamic for the whole game. They matter, and need to be perfect. But… it might not. How did it make them feel? I have to decide if I'm willing to take a risk in order to show an important part of who I am.

Try not to be. Why are you drawn to the area s of study you indicated earlier in this application? If you are "undecided" or not sure which Brown concentrations match your interests, consider describing more generally the academic topics or modes of thought that engage you currently. Try to be interesting! Be outside of the box. Force them to be interested! Who is this girl?

What's she talking about? Newborn sheep inexplicably get left in the snow to die. Horses founder -- sometimes, your only option is euthanasia. Tomcats slaughter innocent kittens.

I spent my summers detasseling corn -- that is, ripping the male reproductive organs off and throwing them on the ground. This prevents self-pollination, therefore producing a hybrid vigor.

I walked miles in the heat each day, brushing worms and spiders off of my face as I castrated. These experiences continue to affect me, in the classroom and beyond. I plan to combine this interest with psychology -- I want to help people overcome irrational fears and become scientifically literate consumers.


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Learn about the Brown University Supplemental Essay Prompts and get started on drafting with College Essay Advisors! Brown University Application Essay, Brown University Admission Essay College application essay about entrepreneurship The Computer Doctor Mathew Griffn Brown University EVERY TIME I DRIVE INTO A client's driveway, there's always that .